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Theresa May wants to invade Switzerland!

11068 Views March 24, 2018 Sandbox The Saker

Tagged
  • Humor

21 Comments

  1. B.F. on March 24, 2018  ·  at 2:13 pm EST/EDT

    Well, I don’t think Theresa May wants to invade Switzerland, as Swiss banks have always been used for dirty activities on the international scene. They always acted as a conduit.

    • Anonius on March 25, 2018  ·  at 9:35 am EST/EDT

      Well, accordingly to what I have read: The royals actually keep their treasures in HK. Apparently this was one of the conditions the Brits made before Canton was surrendered to China. China is responsible for keeping them safe. Oh yes, do not ask me for the links as I do not have them. I read it some ti..me ago. Actually, it may have been Engdahl who wrote it, but it’s just my guess.

  2. Where-Wolf on March 24, 2018  ·  at 6:56 pm EST/EDT

    The people who own Theresa May also own Switzerland, so although I would welcome a nuclear exchange between the UK and Switzerland, it ain’t gonna happen.

    Check this out:

    Ahmadinejad accuses Ayatollah Khamenei of embezzling funds

    The Former President of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has written a letter to the Guide of the Revolution (Ayatollah Ali Khamenei), accusing him of embezzling 80 billion rials.

    The letter accuses the Guide of siphoning this money from 15 funds that had been placed under his responsibility.

    http://www.voltairenet.org/article200337.html

    Like wow!

    Was the recent mini uprising in Iran an attempt by the Pentagon/CIA to overthrow UK-Octopus allied Hassan Rouhani?

    Is Ahmadinejad ‘friendly’ to Donald Trump?!

  3. Everett Griffin on March 24, 2018  ·  at 8:15 pm EST/EDT

    Swiss officials from the BIS in Basel turned to the Swiss Army to respond to Ms. May’s call for invading Switzerland, accusing British bankers of torture. “Their accents are atrocious, it’s as if a dog whistle tuned to human hearing is blaring non stop. Everyone is barking and howling. Causing hearing loss is inhumane and degrading treatment, and may constitute war crimes.” Nerves calmed after it was revealed that the accusation by Ms. May turned out to be an advertisement for Victorinox, the makers of Swiss Army knives.

  4. GG on March 24, 2018  ·  at 8:19 pm EST/EDT

    If you get a chance check out this Scott Horton interview with a reporter who is convinced Russia meddled in the US election. Take a look at the specious evidence of Russian meddling in the election provided by the interview guest:

    https://www.libertarianinstitute.org/scotthortonshow/3-19-18-william-arkin-on-the-evidence-supporting-russiagate/

  5. vot tak on March 24, 2018  ·  at 9:25 pm EST/EDT

    Well, the Swiss have a rep for being blood thirsty and brutal:

    (Not sure which is the title, but I’m sure it’s one of the macho lines at the top of the webpage)

    http://www.badassoftheweek.com/index.cgi?id=31684493594

    “The reason the Swiss have had the luxury of being neutral through two World Wars and a Franco-Prussian conflict is because these guys are so over-the-top hardcore badass as hell that nobody would dare screw with them. They’re a tough-as-shit, patriotic population with one simple rule of war – if you come into Swiss territory, we will show you No Quarter, take no prisoners, and kill every last motherhumping invader who would dare set foot on our soil. Every single man in Switzerland has been given hardcore professional militia training, been handed a government-issued SiG-550 assault rifle, taught how to use it in live-fire exercises, and keeps it in his home just in case anyone ever decides to step to his country’s Badass Neutrality clause. The idea is simple – don’t step to us, and we won’t bash your head in with a magazine full of 5.56mm NATO ammunition.”

    Obviously, what we have here is a nation of psychos, ready kill and dismember for any perceived reason. Think they are badass muhfugs now, run a search on the Swiss merc pikes of a few centuries ago.

    But given the Swiss predilection to blood letting at the drop of a hat, the theresa may brand may be taking advantage of that to push their own goals of cornering the caviar market in order to dominate the royals.

    So the most important question to ask is:

    Is that a real Swiss army knife… I mean
    Is that a Swiss made army knife
    Or is that a sears Swiss army knife?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6diCm4x3iRg

    I don’t think anybody is asking this. Certainly, the Russian state media at RT & Sputnik are not. Does this mean Putin had a hand in this atrocity? I think we need a u.s. congressional investigation of these allegations. Lucky for the free world, trump made sure the Swiss (fanatic anti-semites and enemies of israel, you know), will no longer get a free ride with his appointment of bolton.

  6. Azorka1861 on March 24, 2018  ·  at 10:13 pm EST/EDT

    Theresa the Great has no chance against
    William (Wilhelm) Tell – https://www.stamp-collecting-world.com/swissstamps_whoistell.html
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7O91GDWGPU
    Arnold von Winkelried -http://wunderkammertales.blogspot.ch/2015/01/he-rushd-against-austrian-hand-battle.html
    and especially against the secret Swiss weapon – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_cP5B8apKo

    • Azorka1861 on March 25, 2018  ·  at 6:21 am EST/EDT

      Link to Arnold von Winkelried
      http://wunderkammertales.blogspot.ch/2015/01/he-rushd-against-austrian-hand-battle.html

  7. Anonymous on March 24, 2018  ·  at 10:57 pm EST/EDT

    LOL, a terrorist weapon “of a type developed by the Swiss.”

    And don’t worry, the British royals have always had their own banking havens in the commonwealth, and The City is always expert at hiding money.

  8. Ann on March 24, 2018  ·  at 11:30 pm EST/EDT

    looking at the comments – it seems like no one ‘got it’ – It s a JOKE guys –

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • vot tak on March 25, 2018  ·  at 12:03 am EST/EDT

      “It s a JOKE guys”

      How can you be so sure? Look at the article picture. That looks like a real Swiss army knife in the picture, but what if it’s a knock off?

      • Павел (Paul) on March 25, 2018  ·  at 5:27 am EST/EDT

        … a knockoff is going to implicate China …
        Breaking News … emergency meeting … Free lessons in formal kow-tow is being considered for all British politicians.

    • Mike on March 25, 2018  ·  at 4:39 am EST/EDT

      You understand the meaning of satire ?

      a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn

    • Katherine on March 25, 2018  ·  at 10:06 am EST/EDT

      Looking at the comments, seems like everyone “got it” and concocted a few jokes of their own.
      Katherine

  9. Marcel Leutenegger on March 25, 2018  ·  at 4:23 am EST/EDT

    ROFL real loud!

    Thanks to all – your humor is priceless.

    Disclaimer: I am Swiss, served in the army, and I can warrant you that the Swiss army knife is about 1cm slim with the most essential tools only.

    • Serbian girl on March 25, 2018  ·  at 8:55 am EST/EDT

      Hi Marcel, so a cork screw is an essential tool for a soldier?

      I guess if you start losing on the battlefiled maybe a quick drink will boost morale..

  10. Prisoneer#6 on March 25, 2018  ·  at 4:43 am EST/EDT

    Yes, T.May phoned to MSM cheerleaders and said the secret operation will be for Monday, but not before the soldiers’ break for tea. This obviously was only a smokescreen: shrewdly, she did’t say the english ace-in-the-sleeve could be the Europe daylight saving times (1 hour shifted on the clock). Could be this the perfect surprise effect to overcome those detestable swiss citizens, defined by the great german historiographer baron W.W. Wonderwottimeittis IV “brutal cheesemongers in lederhosen”?

    [P.S. – This is a well known trick for military operations: if the enemy counter-espionage knows about your plans, syncronize all the clocks of your Army’s soldiers one hour before, and you will get them by surprise.]

    • Prisoneer#6 on March 26, 2018  ·  at 3:53 am EST/EDT

      …BTW, I have a little collection of swiss knifes. One has 50+ years and the steel is always perfect! They are masterpieces of engineering, as are the swiss watches. I think micro-mechanic is a very art of the Swiss.

  11. Павел (Paul) on March 25, 2018  ·  at 5:04 am EST/EDT

    … but wasn’t the knife found hidden within some Russian Matryoshka dolls ?
    Shut Up, shut up, you blabber-mouthing moron, we have just invented a story to give the Swiss some headaches just for fun … and for another reason !
    You see Boris, dear boy, the latest message from Moscow is worrying us somewhat …
    you wouldn’t want that hair style of yours to be modified by a missile, would you !
    “It’s a big discomfort for us to have unpredictable and aggressive counterparts. But this is the reality we have to live with,” RIA news agency quoted Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov as saying on Saturday.
    http://www.presstv.com/Detail/2018/03/24/556426/Dmitry-Peskov-Kremlin-Sergei-Skripal-Europe

  12. jimofolym on March 25, 2018  ·  at 7:23 pm EST/EDT

    My dear wife has one of those awful terroristic objects. I hope Ms. May doesn’t come after her!

  13. m. on March 26, 2018  ·  at 3:50 pm EST/EDT

    Truly strange times. Next week, but maybe sooner getting yerself wasted by one liter of fine Russian vodka will be just another Gliewitz moment in history.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gleiwitz_incident

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